I heard we made out
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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