Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
