The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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