Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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