My balls are so social today.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize