Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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