Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize