Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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