"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
