if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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