those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
