I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
