Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
