i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
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I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
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There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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