i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
