Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
