We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
