yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
