member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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