ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
