So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
