Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
