Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I will die if light touches me.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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