I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My feet surprised me
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