she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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