I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sex in a hospital.. check
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
