Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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