Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
