forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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