remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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