butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
