a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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