I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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