physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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