I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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