I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
