it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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