Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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