This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
