The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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