I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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