I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
