I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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