He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
