So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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