i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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