also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize