Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
