if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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