She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
