I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
