Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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