My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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