sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
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What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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