God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
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you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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