yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
