its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
