So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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