Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The adults are the big ones right?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
