in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
