they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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