Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
