I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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