oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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