Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
