I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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