just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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