Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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